green

...reminds me of new life

the bright, warm sun on my face emerging from the dead of winter

reminds me of new life

melting snow revealing the naked grass

reminds me of new life

joy in the presence of trouble

reminds me of new life

sitting quietly in prayer - laid bare before my Jesus

reminds me of new life

men, scarred by past, lingering woundedness, learning a love for scripture

reminds me of new life

second and third and fourth chances

reminds me of new life

transformation

reminds me of new life

fierce, righteous, and seemingly reckless living

reminds me of new life

rest...sabbath

reminds me of new life

jesus

reminds me of new life

...is new life

today i am resting...resting in this new life...resting in the assurance of His transformation...resting in the fullness of his presence...resting from the good work...

...just...

...resting.

wild

i was first introduced to the concept of the wild call of the holy spirit just over a year ago when i first stepped this community. it was hard to get used to.  jen sometimes writes about the celtics symbol of a goose that represents the wild honking of the holy spirit.  it isn't what we are used to.  a dove...now that's more like it. or is it.  there is a real recklessness to geese. they aren't elegant creatures.  you certainly don't see people letting geese loose at weddings. they are loud and rogue.  and i am beginning to like that picture of the holy spirit.

 

and i have come to that place in life where i want to be the same.  i realize that at times, the holy spirit is characterized as a dove.  but i think...and reading through the scriptures...when the holy spirit makes himself known it is in more of a rogue, noisy state than in a quiet nonchalant. when the holy spirit first appeared, it caused a ruckus causing the disciples to speak out boldly, proclaiming with recklessness the gospel.  it was that same spirit that caused them to be sent out...with boldness mind you...not in the same sense when they were hiding out in the upper room...to jerusalem...judea...sameria...and to the ends of this world. and it was this same spirit that moved these disciples...these mighty men of God to set aside everything that was comfortable...everything that was socially expected and acceptable...to lay aside the approval of men and join in the wild honking of the holy spirit.

  

i guess that is kinda how i feel even more today.  you know when there are certain times in your day that act as pivotal points in your day. those times when you can either decide to move forward and continue striving toward what you know is right...what you know is obedient...and what you are called to do even if it is misunderstood and some don't agree with it. or do you revert to what is easy to understand...to the old way of doing things...just to please man...and risk following the call.

 

i don't know...i guess i'm convinced that i can't revert back to my old self.  i can't revert back to the dove.  while there are still times for the dove...i am convinced that the kingdom of God is build upon the wild and aggressive honking of the goose.  look at the apostles...they were wild and aggressive...and they were filled my the holy spirit in incredible ways.  even more...look at jesus.

after a day like today and an interaction like i had i know that it is real. i choose to be wild...i am moved to be wild...i am called to be wild...and i must obey.

will you?  

safe

i wrote a letter today.  i wrote a letter to marv's parole officer, pleading for grace.  asking that she allow herself to have her eyes open to see the transformation that has occurred in marv's life over the past several weeks. at first, when i sat down to write this letter, i felt a lot of pressure upon my shoulders.  would what i said in this letter make a difference?  i had to be sure that i was using the perfect words so that she would know exactly what was happening and she would be persuaded by my words. i don't think i felt like his fate was upon my shoulders but yet i was allowing myself to go there and entertain the thought.  and in a way...i was adopting a messiah complex right then and there in front of my computer.

 

and so i stopped and realized...it has already been decided.  marv's future is not in my hands but in the hands of one who is so much larger than this seemingly difficult situation.  and that gave me peace.  and for the first time i took my own advice that i had given to marv. the Lord has this.  and has it securely.

  

marv has realized this. he has decided that to live in obedience and in faith is much more important that residing in the safety of his fear.  i think maybe we are all faced with this at times.  we reside in the safety of our fear.  what i mean by this is that our fear keeps us from moving forward...from truly seeing God in our most desperate situations...and so we are kept from having desperate situations and thus kept from needing God.

  

Marv has decided against that now.  he has decided that even in this most desperate situation where he is faced with his past and yet living in the light of his new, secure future...faith goes before fear.  and so i say...in this life of mine...i am learning from my new brother.  he is teaching me that in his desperation to be consumed by Jesus Christ...he is able to stare fear in the face and continue being obedient. i look up to him.

 

in fact, marv and i were talking yesterday and he said he was no longer praying that God would keep him from prison (although that is what we all wish would happen...and i think he would too) but instead he is praying that he would be placed exactly where God wants him to be a light. WOAH. he said...there are fellas in there that need to know what it is that Jesus did for me...what he did for them...so it is sorta selfish of me if i refuse to share it with them.

  

i finished listening to him and then went in my room and wept. is it true that this type of transformation can be so outrageous that it brings a man who spent several years in the darkness of a cell to a place where he is able to embrace it if it is how he is meant to share the same gospel of transformation?  yes...yes it is.  it is an outrageous transformation.

 

pondering this...i wrote...knowing that Marv is safe in the arms of the Father no matter where he is.  lately marv and i have been talking a lot about Paul and about how he was faced with prison and yet knew that in his obedience...it was exactly where he was supposed to be.  and even in those times...some of the most brilliant fruit burst forth.

  

and so my letter is really nothing more than a testimony to God's grace and provision for one that he loves.  i don't think it really is me being an advocate.  Christ is marv's advocate now...and so marv is safe.  he is held...watched over... and that is much more than any of us could ever be or do for him.

be praying with us for marv...that he would continue to find himself safe in the hands of the father...covered in the shadow of his wing.  there...he will always be safe...there he will always be free...no matter where he is.   

washed

it is late...and i can't sleep...and so i sit and write.  it has been a long time since i have written.  a very long time.  i have been reminded of that.  i had a post written at one time...and it was accidentally deleted.  i thought it was beautiful.  it was eloquent.  it was not meant to be read.  so i write now.  this post that i wasn't sure i was really willing to write. 

so...where do i begin?  since my last post, so much has happened (read the stockbridge boiler room blog).  overwhelming at times.  there have been moments of mayhem, a virtual cyclone of dramatic events and yet there are times that God has given peaceful and restful times as well.  this peace and rest has been exactly what each of us has needed, interns, recovering addicts, and visitors.  in a way, we have experienced a washing of God's Spirit.  and in my mind...and as it is playing out...it all makes sense.

  

during the week of 24-7 prayer in December, God gave our community a word.  it was the word from Isaiah 61: "the spirit of the Lord is upon me..."  immediately I get this picture of the Holy Spirit coming upon this community, washing us, soaking our heads, dripping down over our foreheads and eyebrows, the refreshing feeling as it runs over our mouths, and falls upon our shoulders and runs down to our feet.  we are covered in it.  He has brought the pleasing refreshment and has allowed our response to be full, and rich, and beautiful.  and this wild call of the Spirit is here and is on the move.  and we can't help but notice.  

it is impossible to ignore. and so i won't.

instead i will rejoice in giving praise to our powerful God.  the Spirit washes with refreshing, living waters.  he has washed away the stronghold of addiction in the lives of several.  he has washed over weary hearts needing refreshing and the Spirit poured out upon his people has brought people face to face with his loving compassion.

at times i have found this outpouring of the Holy Spirit incredibly overwhelming...overwhelming in the sense that the only appropriate response is to fall on my face in utter worship, understanding the need that i have for the presence of the Spirit, the filling of the Spirit, the discernment of the Spirit, and the comfort of the Spirit.

over the past three weeks, the Spirit has been revealing himself to four particular men who have become very near and dear to many of us in the boiler room community.  we have stood in awe of Christ's love and the Spirit's movement in their lives as the scales that have molded to their eyes have fallen off and their eyes have begun to see the beauty of Christ's redemption. 

 

indeed the Spirit of the Lord is upon us.  the Lord has anointed all who have found him to preach the good news to the poor, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim the message of freedom for those in captivity and to release those living in darkness and show them light.  

he is restoring sight to the blind and the view for them is astonishing.  the view for us is astonishing.  it is a place of God's favor.  a place of beauty rather than ashes.  this is the work of the washing of the spirit.  the work where the overflow to God's favor brings the fullness of joy in any circumstance is where i want to be.  it is where he is leading us as a people chasing hard after him.

  

the Spirit of the Lord is upon me...praise be to the King of Kings...for he has done, is doing, and will continue to do marvelous things. 

 

isn't it great.

sounds nice right.  and it is.  it is nice.  but this is the part i have been struggling with.  what is my response to all of this.  for several weeks now it has been silence.  not sure how to proceed.  not sure how best to apply this pouring out.  this washing.  and so in a way, i have not accepted the fullness of God's Spirit.  i have been pouring out the offering onto others.  onto the men who have moved in here. those in the neighborhood who need help.  i have taken the best parts of this washing and given it to others.   and so i have had the peculiar dryness that for a while now i have not understood.  

and then...

"Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair.  The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume...'why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denari and given to the poor?'...Jesus said, 'Leave her alone...the poor you always have with you, and whenever you want you can do good for them. but you do not always have me.'"  

my best perfume...my best that i have has been given to those other than Jesus.  yes he has poured out his Spirit in order that we may proclaim his fullness to the poor and needed, my first response ought to be a pouring out of my best...my perfume that could be spent on the poor...onto Him...Jesus.  it is a fragrant offering.  Mary's offering was a fragrant offering preparing Jesus for his death.  

what is my offering.  in response to the pouring out of His Spirit upon me...His best...do i offer my best to him first as a fragrant offering given back to Him...or do i present the remains which, lately, has been next to nothing.

my heart longs to be mary...with recklessness pouring out my very best first onto Jesus' feet...and then with what remains given to those around me.

the Spirit of the Lord is upon me...