i wrote a letter today. i wrote a letter to marv's parole officer, pleading for grace. asking that she allow herself to have her eyes open to see the transformation that has occurred in marv's life over the past several weeks. at first, when i sat down to write this letter, i felt a lot of pressure upon my shoulders. would what i said in this letter make a difference? i had to be sure that i was using the perfect words so that she would know exactly what was happening and she would be persuaded by my words. i don't think i felt like his fate was upon my shoulders but yet i was allowing myself to go there and entertain the thought. and in a way...i was adopting a messiah complex right then and there in front of my computer.
and so i stopped and realized...it has already been decided. marv's future is not in my hands but in the hands of one who is so much larger than this seemingly difficult situation. and that gave me peace. and for the first time i took my own advice that i had given to marv. the Lord has this. and has it securely.
marv has realized this. he has decided that to live in obedience and in faith is much more important that residing in the safety of his fear. i think maybe we are all faced with this at times. we reside in the safety of our fear. what i mean by this is that our fear keeps us from moving forward...from truly seeing God in our most desperate situations...and so we are kept from having desperate situations and thus kept from needing God.
Marv has decided against that now. he has decided that even in this most desperate situation where he is faced with his past and yet living in the light of his new, secure future...faith goes before fear. and so i say...in this life of mine...i am learning from my new brother. he is teaching me that in his desperation to be consumed by Jesus Christ...he is able to stare fear in the face and continue being obedient. i look up to him.
in fact, marv and i were talking yesterday and he said he was no longer praying that God would keep him from prison (although that is what we all wish would happen...and i think he would too) but instead he is praying that he would be placed exactly where God wants him to be a light. WOAH. he said...there are fellas in there that need to know what it is that Jesus did for me...what he did for them...so it is sorta selfish of me if i refuse to share it with them.
i finished listening to him and then went in my room and wept. is it true that this type of transformation can be so outrageous that it brings a man who spent several years in the darkness of a cell to a place where he is able to embrace it if it is how he is meant to share the same gospel of transformation? yes...yes it is. it is an outrageous transformation.
pondering this...i wrote...knowing that Marv is safe in the arms of the Father no matter where he is. lately marv and i have been talking a lot about Paul and about how he was faced with prison and yet knew that in his obedience...it was exactly where he was supposed to be. and even in those times...some of the most brilliant fruit burst forth.
and so my letter is really nothing more than a testimony to God's grace and provision for one that he loves. i don't think it really is me being an advocate. Christ is marv's advocate now...and so marv is safe. he is held...watched over... and that is much more than any of us could ever be or do for him.
be praying with us for marv...that he would continue to find himself safe in the hands of the father...covered in the shadow of his wing. there...he will always be safe...there he will always be free...no matter where he is.
